Subdivision Read online

  Subdivision

  ALSO BY J. ROBERT LENNON

  Let Me Think

  Broken River

  See You in Paradise

  Familiar

  Castle

  Pieces for the Left Hand

  Happyland

  Mailman

  On the Night Plain

  The Funnies

  The Light of Falling Stars

  Subdivision

  J. Robert Lennon

  a novel

  GRAYWOLF PRESS

  Copyright © 2021 by J. Robert Lennon

  The author and Graywolf Press have provided this e-book to you for your personal use only. You may not make this e-book publicly available in any way. Copyright infringement is against the law. If you believe the copy of this e-book you are reading infringes on the author’s copyright, please notify Graywolf Press at: us.macmillanusa.com/piracy.

  This publication is made possible, in part, by the voters of Minnesota through a Minnesota State Arts Board Operating Support grant, thanks to a legislative appropriation from the arts and cultural heritage fund. Significant support has also been provided by Target Foundation, the McKnight Foundation, the Lannan Foundation, the Amazon Literary Partnership, and other generous contributions from foundations, corporations, and individuals. To these organizations and individuals we offer our heartfelt thanks.

  Published by Graywolf Press

  250 Third Avenue North, Suite 600

  Minneapolis, Minnesota 55401

  All rights reserved.

  www.graywolfpress.org

  Published in the United States of America

  ISBN 978-1-64445-048-2

  Ebook ISBN 978-1-64445-144-1

  2 4 6 8 9 7 5 3 1

  First Graywolf Printing, 2021

  Library of Congress Control Number: 2020937598

  Cover design: Kyle G. Hunter

  Cover art: iStock

  Subdivision

  PART ONE

  One

  At the guesthouse, I was invited to come downstairs anytime and work on the puzzle. It occupied the entire surface of a massive wooden dining table that nearly filled the room it inhabited; the pieces were extremely small, and very few of them appeared to bear any distinctive pattern or color, instead betraying only the faintest gradations between bluish-white and whitish-gray. Enough of the puzzle had been completed to suggest dimensions of about three by five feet, but what image it might eventually reveal was unclear to me: an outdoor scene, perhaps, one dominated by overcast skies. Bits of detail around the edges implied that the source image was a photograph or realistic painting, and as I stood over the table, the ladies at my sides, handbag and duffel weighing down my shoulders, I thought I could make out the hint of a reflection on glass or metal, the toe of a shoe, a scrap of greenery, the corner of a road sign.

  Or maybe not. The longer I stared at the puzzle, and the more awkward our reverie—mine and the ladies’—became, the less I thought I could perceive in the scattered pieces. They were so tiny that the information they conveyed could mean literally anything.

  It was clear, however, that the puzzle meant a great deal to my hosts—Clara and the Judge—and that their invitation to help solve it should be received solemnly, as though it were an honor. We stood there, leaning over the dining table, and I scowled with what I hoped was the appropriate gravity, but in truth I was very tired, and I just wanted to go to bed, despite the early hour. The ladies had not yet given me a key or even revealed which room I would be staying in; indeed, showing me the puzzle had been their top priority upon welcoming me at the door. I wanted to set my bags down so that I could more effectively feign interest, but I expected to be led to my room at any moment, and didn’t want to have to pick them up again. So our eyes ranged over the diminutive cardboard shapes, while my body trembled under the weight of my burdens.

  At long last, though, I gave in, and let the bags slide quietly to the floor. “How long have you been working on it?” I asked.

  One of the two spoke. “Oh,” she said, “it’s not for us. It’s for guests.”

  “Where’s the box it came in?” I cast my gaze pointlessly around the room. “I’m curious what the picture is of.”

  “We don’t have that anymore, I don’t think,” said the other one.

  “No,” said the first, “I don’t recall ever seeing it.”

  “Ah, that’s a shame.”

  I hadn’t yet been able to determine which of the ladies was Clara and which was the Judge; I knew only that these were the forms of address they preferred. Clara was the one I’d spoken to on the phone, and she had told me that she and the Judge would love to accommodate me while I sought more permanent lodging. “The Judge will have some suggestions for you, dear,” Clara told me. “She’s lived here forever.” I suspected it would be easy to discern which was which when I arrived, but the ladies’ voices were similar enough to defy my efforts, and neither had bothered to introduce herself. In fact, they behaved with the familiarity of lifelong friends—as though I already lived here and were just now returning after a brief trip. The overall effect was simultaneously welcoming and alienating, and only intensified my weariness. The puzzle pieces were beginning to tremble and blur before my eyes.

  Outside, the clouds parted, and a window’s skewed twin, blinding-bright, superimposed itself over the scattered pieces. I squinted against the light and failed to suppress a deep, tearful yawn. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I think I’ll be better able to work on this after a nap. I’m afraid it’s been a long day.” I tried to recall my journey in detail, in order to amuse the ladies with some anecdotes about it, but, perhaps owing to my exhaustion, it had already begun to fade from memory.

  I expected a gentle apology, but one of them—either Clara or the Judge—merely sighed. “All right,” she said. “Follow me.”

  They led me to the kitchen, which was low-ceilinged and cozy and attractively outfitted with collectible glassware on open shelves and cast iron pots and pans hanging from hooks. The air was warm and smelled of something good—cookies or cake. We sat at a kitchen table covered with papers, pencils, notebooks, and ledgers, all of which gave the impression of rarely, if ever, being cleared away. The kitchen was also their office, it seemed. One of the ladies opened up a flat wooden box, revealing six keys attached to oval plastic fobs. It struck me for the first time that I must be the only guest.

  “You have your choice of rooms,” Clara or the Judge said. “There’s Virtue, Mercy, Justice, Duty, and Glory.”

  “Oh! Well … I don’t know. Is one of them nicer?”

  “They’re all very nice, dear,” the other said, sounding a bit wounded by the question.

  “Each has its advantages,” said the first one.

  “Why don’t you choose one for me,” I suggested.

  “The light is nice in Justice,” a lady observed.

  “But she wants to sleep,” said the other. “Glory, at the back, is probably quietest.”

  “Duty is largest.”

  “Virtue has a closet.”

  The two looked at each other, and then at me. The one with the key box nodded and handed me a key. Its fob read MERCY in embossed type. “It’s upstairs,” she said. “Second door on the left. The bathroom is across the hall.”

  “Will you be needing an additional cot?” the other asked with a smile.

  “Oh no,” I said. “I’m traveling alone.”

  The ladies frowned in evident confusion.

  “I thought I made that clear,” I explained, though in truth I couldn’t recall making the reservation.

  “So it’s just you,” said either Clara or the Judge, peering over my shoulder, as if some mysterious companion might suddenly appear.

  “Yes, just me.”

/>   “Well!” one of the ladies exclaimed with a smile, after the two exchanged a glance. “In that case, you’ll have the whole floor to yourself, for now.”

  “Thank you,” I said.

  The two ladies were very different in appearance. The one who’d handed me the key was short and stocky, with a spray of silver curls, a pair of silver-framed eyeglasses on a gold chain, and a nimble, friendly manner. The other was tall and stooped and more deliberate, with an ungainly, equine bearing, and dyed-black hair cut short. Her eyeglasses were black, chunky, and filmed over with dust and finger grease. Instinctively, I identified this one as the probable jurist, but it wasn’t difficult to imagine the other calling a courtroom to order, banging a gavel. Each would frighten attorneys in her own special way.

  With what I hoped was an inaudible, or at least barely audible, groan, I stood and lifted my bags. Clara and the Judge didn’t offer to help, as well they shouldn’t: they were my seniors by half a century, easily. I recalled seeing the stairs near the front door, and made my way there, taking care not to knock over anything on my way: a coffee table bearing a teetering stack of books, a cut-glass liquor decanter and its highball children centered on a polished silver tray atop a brass bar cart, a bowling trophy perched on a miniature Doric column.

  The walls above the stair were adorned with what looked like family photos, some featuring younger versions of Clara and the Judge, often with children, now probably grown and moved away, and of husbands now presumably dead. There were also two law school diplomas, each from a different institution, both awarded to women named Clara. And two photos, one on each side of the hall, each depicting one of the two women, Clara and the Judge, posing in court dress.

  It took a moment to process what the photos were telling me: that Clara and the Judge were both named Clara, and that both had been judges.

  I scaled the last few steps and saw that four doors faced the hallway before me, two on each side. A further opening at the end appeared to give way to a second, rather narrower, stair, perhaps leading to an attic or former servants’ quarters. After consulting the words painted on each closed door, I inserted my key into the lock beneath MERCY, and stepped into my new, temporary quarters.

  The room was homey, tidy, and faintly and mysteriously fragrant. A small painting of a bridge was balanced on a stout dresser, where, in addition, a china bowl held a wrapped bar of soap. Pink floral wallpaper was interrupted by a few amateur landscapes. Two round tables bookended a bed covered by a pale blue duvet; upon one of the tables stood an empty tumbler and an old-fashioned transistor radio, and upon the other, a lamp. I wanted to curl up and sleep, but my journey had left me feeling as unclean as it did tired, and I resolved to take a shower before I lay down. I found folded towels stacked on an old wooden chair, so I undressed and wrapped myself up in one, then took the soap from the dresser and crossed the hall to the bathroom.

  To my surprise, there was no shower. Instead, an uncurtained, rather luxurious-looking ball-and-claw bathtub, its feet painted metallic gold, dominated the room; a spray nozzle dangled from a hook beside it.

  I began to run the water. Somewhere below me, something metal shuddered and clanked. I held my hand in the stream, waiting for heat, and at last it came, slowly at first and accompanied by a pitched vibration, a moan that, as the water grew hotter and hotter, transformed itself into a single sustained, transcendent sung note. And then, abruptly, the note cut off. The only sounds that remained were the splashing of the hot water into the enormous bathtub, and the choked and gasping noises of my sobs.

  I gathered myself enough to find, on the window ledge beside the tub, a rubber stopper, and I used it to plug the drain. I adjusted the valves until the water reached a more comfortable temperature, and I sat down on the closed toilet seat to wait.

  Slowly, the water level rose. I watched it. When it reached the lip of the tub, I turned the faucet off: but then I remembered that my body would displace the water when I lowered myself in, and I had to allow some to drain out. My arm became wet and hot in the process, and I stared at it now. Pink and beaded, it looked like some other arm, a disembodied one found lying on a beach after a violent storm.

  I stood, tossed my towel onto the toilet seat, and lowered myself into the scalding water. The house settled around me—or perhaps it was waking up. Boards creaked and small footsteps sounded above: probably a cat or squirrel in the attic. The window to my left was curtained up to eye level, but naked above that, and through the fogged glass I could make out a crow standing on the rooftop of the neighbor’s house, shrugging its black shoulders and occasionally stretching and flapping its arms, which is to say its wings, and stamping its feet and looking around as though for someone or something to defend itself against.

  For an instant, the crow disappeared. It didn’t fly off; it simply wasn’t there anymore. A moment later, it returned, standing in much the same posture as it had when it blinked out of view—and then it vanished again, and came back a second time. I understood that, while I could observe only two states of the crow, its presence or its absence, the crow could observe many states of this house, this room, this bath. It thought no more of me, here in the tub, than it thought of any other possible person at this moment in any other possible variation on the world. It was an ordinary bird; it saw only what was in front of it, and could react only to that experience, and to its instinctive needs. And yet it lingered there on the rooftop, flickering in and out of existence, pondering, I supposed, the version of reality that included me in this bath.

  A quiet knock came on the door, so quiet that I might have been imagining it. The crow and I gazed at each other, as though in some kind of understanding. Then it flew away and my mind went blank again, and I closed my eyes.

  Two

  I awoke shivering in the gloom, uncertain of where I was or what was happening to me. I tried to leap to my feet, only to find something weighing me down, tugging at me: water, I realized. For a moment, it was summer, at the beach; the waves took hold of me and pulled me under, scraped me along the ocean’s floor like so much jetsam, and I lay on the water-hardened sand, gasping, the froth fizzing and settling around me, and a man’s voice said, It’s hopeless, she’ll never be able to take care of herself.

  But no, it wasn’t the beach, and there was no man. I was in the tub at my guesthouse. I’d meant to take a bath, then crawl into bed. Instead I’d fallen asleep.

  I’d never felt so cold in my life. My skin was puckered and numb, and water dripped from it, back into the chill pool at my feet. I climbed out, searching in the dark for a towel; once I found it I rubbed it as vigorously as I could, trying to derive some warmth from the friction. I hurried out of the room and across the hall, then buried myself, weeping from the cold, beneath the covers of my bed. Five minutes later, still shivering, I realized that only a second hot bath would revive me. I returned to the bathroom, turned on the light, and drained the tub; then, a keening whine escaping my throat, I ran the water hot and hard, plugged the drain, and climbed back in to wait for the heat to envelop me.

  I hadn’t seen a clock and didn’t know what time it was. It could be nine at night, or four in the morning. I had a memory of someone watching me from a rooftop: or was that, like the man at the beach, a dream? The hot water was beginning to reverse the numbness, and suddenly I felt too hot; I stood up, added some cold to the mix, sloshed it around with my hands.

  Once the shivering had stopped, I turned the faucets off and scrubbed my body with the bar of soap from my room. I rinsed, dried myself with a fresh towel, and returned to Mercy, where I pulled some pajamas from my bag and burrowed back into the bedclothes.

  I couldn’t sleep. The sounds of birds penetrated my window, followed by gray light. I got up and dressed in the first clothes my duffel bag produced. It was my nature, when traveling, to unpack and organize my things, but I didn’t expect to be here for more than a few days: I needed to find an apartment and a job. Clara had told me on the phone that she and
the Judge could help. Today would be a day of searching, and of getting to know the town.

  I crept down the carpeted stairs, pausing once again to gaze at the ladies’ photographs. The grandfather clock in the entryway issued deep ticks from inside its coffin of gears, and told me that the time was 5:40 a.m. I wanted coffee. But instead of heading for the kitchen, I turned toward the dining room, where the puzzle lay.

  Some progress seemed to have been made since the day before, with more sky filled in around the upper corners, and the left edge a few inches nearer to closing the gap. Loose pieces floated in the empty center, inside the crust of solved edge, and were scattered about the dining table beyond. A few pieces had fallen to the floor, and I picked them up, examining them as I did. Two were simply light gray, but unusually complex in shape, with many protrusions and fjords extending the amount of the puzzle’s coastline. A few others bore tantalizing scraps of image: something that was perhaps a bird’s wing; a squared-off white corner that might have harbored a postage stamp; a distinct, pixelated human eye. The eye piece seemed a promising candidate for my first successful placement; not only was it part of the minority of darker, more patterned pieces, also it had a peculiar shape, one with an unusual, angular, cross-shaped extension. It should be simple, I thought, to find its receptor piece.

  Logical or not, however, my assumptions were to be challenged by the next ten minutes of effort. Though my gaze traveled multiple times over the entirety of the unfinished puzzle, it could not discern anything that resembled the eye piece’s likely mate. I found a couple with potential—something that might have been a lock of hair, or the gleaming curve of an eyeglasses frame—but neither would accept my oddly shaped eye. Another gap fit the piece perfectly but was clearly intended to mate with a different part of the image. I continued to scan the table until I heard a noise: the scraping of rubber chair feet against a linoleum floor. Someone had been sitting in the kitchen, and now was coming this way. Without thinking, I secreted the eye piece in the pocket of my skirt and turned to greet my visitor.